Hari emosi.

Dahulu..mak pernah bercerita. Tentang peritnya dia.
Abang yg sulong tak boleh diharapkan, tak dapat disandarkan harapan. Emak juga komen yg sama tentang abg sulong abah. Sama. Tak dapat disandarkan harapan, penuh alasan dan lengah-lengahan.


Kemudian..meningkat dewasa, abg sulong sy menjadi org yg begitu juga. Yang lengah, tidak cakna, egoist. Sama sahaja; tak dapat diharapkan dan tak usahla kau sandarkan harapan. Kau akan kecewa.

Mahu dia, dia dihormati. Tp bagaimana mungkin bila kau  begitu cetek dan dungu. Bicaramu kosong, se kosong  minda mu.


Dan hari ini..kemuncak marah saya pada dia. Hak sy dirosakkan, tiada permohonan maaf  malah,  sy pula yg disalahkan kerana katanya berkira. Ya ampun...apa jenis namanya permainan bangang ini?

Dan emak abah sama menyokong anak sulungnya.
Ampun.
Bersedialah jua di hari muka, kerana ini bakalan menjadi orang tolol yg tak boleh diharapkan atau disandarkan harapan!

Things to remember.

Hye to myself.
So....im getting married this year!! Yeay!
So..theres a few things that i saw people do it and i would like to remind myself of what to do and what not to do. This is merely for my future reference only.



1. Never stop complementing your partner.
No matter how little he did..no matter how annoying he is. Believe in positive feedback/encouragement.

2. Masa mula2 kawen..semua org sibuk nak tunjuk how bahagia they are on social media. Pls dont. Itu sgt memualkan dan di khuatiri...ada yg kecil hati..annoyed with you..n manala tahu..terdetik dlm hati mereka kata2 atau ucap2 yg negative (kata2 adalah doa) minta dijauhkan dari penyakit ain


3. Mengasihi walaupun dalam marah.
Sweet tak?

4. Sy bukan lah org yg mengemas rumah or lipat baju. I hate doing those. I know Farid would haf to do it. But i promise i clean the kitchen and masak. Insha allah.sedap.
Boleh? My biggest fear of getting married n living together ia house chores! Haha

5. Stay respectful regardless how bitter I am. Insha allah. Ini nak hurai cam panjang..tp hopefully bukanla menjadi perempuan yg dok tengking2 manjang. Hopefully di beri kesabaran walau apa pun cabarannya.

Ok. Cam tu dulu la..kot esok2 nak tambah lg..kita tambah la harapan dan impian.

2 yrs babe!

hahaha..last i update was 2 yrs back
I will cont from here.
2016, sept I dated F..we went quitre alright..adalah ups n downs
but hes the love off my life, i gave him my all. ..
break up.then together again fr countless time.
raya 2017 he come to my house and my parents did not approve of him.

devastated, i move on. with a teacher. hes a good guy...tp perasaan tu tak dpt nak hadir. i dont haf any strong feeling towards him. we even engaged! 3 months before wedding i cancel everything.
mak and abah strike a cold war. its my mistake...i know. I also understand the depth of despair i cost to everyone and how i shoudnt be forgiven. i know...n i pray...time shall heal.

so....
what happen now?
move to KK umbai may 2015
-trip to kashmir in april
-trip to krabi in july with ira


cant wait. hopefuly tahun ni lebih baik dari last yr...yg ternyata..stagnant
im back to square one!

till then!

2016

wow! the whole 2015 macam berlalu and I din write a thing.

Well, manage to finished my housemanship in may 2015..posted to Muar for my Mo-ship.
Muar is a small hospital, fairly equipped. But, as it advertised herself as Hosp Pakar Sulatanah Fatimah...it is a really-really ill-equipped specialist hosp!
Nonetheless it has been fun!
and little that we know...dah setahun lebih dah kat Muar..and Im surviving!


so...what happened so far...
nothing much. haha
sama jer
-I finally drag my ass and pergi Sg Chilling
-Went to Vietnam recently in August
-should be taking MRCP in 3 dasy time!
-well..dating life...dated at least 8 different guys this yr..betul2 proactive ni. but the one that like me...i tak suka dia. the one that din quite into me..alamak...akak into them! but the motto was easy...tak jadi. tak apa..kita move on! so..comes september...kita haf to go kenal a new person! lets!
-p/s : this dating frenzy is only until Dec..then..i will be back to my normal extroverted introvert self.
-p/s/s ; if by 35 im not settling...im sooooo adopting!
-im going to bandung again in November
-syiqin is engaged and getting married next year
-yup. thats all for now.

approaching 30

Lately..asik la pergi wedding and engagement kawan-kawan and sedara mara.
I feel old!!

but anyway...
Dulu selalu rasa 30 adalah umur dimana wanita bukan lg jadi perempuan perempuan cantik atau comel. 30 adalah usia anggun.!
dan..banyak la tengok kawan-kawan yang memang look different when they hit thirty.



Well, im not yet thirty


why do we talk about this?
ntah..tetiba.

Final posting..finally! 

Akhirnya..sikit lg..dan saya akan mengakhiri zaman menjadi kuli batak, bahan bambu dan alat untuk digunakan dan disalahkan. - houseman!

The pressure is getting bigger, the responsibilities seem scary 

Mistakes made can be fatal..!

N i actually in ED atm, work everyday! no off day, we only have post-call-off ; where u too tired even to take a shower! 

my rocks...

Satay tulang at Senawayng, well...kalau dtg semban this is a must la. :)

the night where, theres only 2 houseman, 2 mos working.

but we managed well despite all. Plus; we gotta sleep!

short get-away!

ok, I failed at my best utk rancang hols this rotation..it needed gap..bukan main tibai jer.
Last week went to langkawi..then this week pergi Lexis kat PD (and next week going to Sg Chilling)
it was good..tp to get back to work......
aihhhhhhh
*mengeluh nampak?*

Tapi hujan all the way..nak balk baru cerah sikit.