been a while

rasa lama betul tak menulis.
sebenarnya sbb memang tak ada apa nak tulis pon.

been busy with work.
jadi doktor, jujurnya..tak glamour langsung. semua yg kita tgk dlm tv tu tidak lain tidak bukan, hanyala bull**** semata.  pardon the language.
when i start my first rotation, i din sleep for 1 week..sbb excited and takut kot. anxious giler.
lepas tagging, 3 weeks of nightmare. everynight, i mimpi my patients...especially those dying or died on your hands, under your care. Consistently, your brain runs through series of even (mcm black n white film) of "what went wrong??" what have i done eh? is the constant question that u can never put off ur brain.

anxiety has its own imprinted version in ur amygdala. with different sort of adrenaline rush.
im not good at describing it.
but anxiety now has different level. different feeling.

in short,
I lose 10kg (approximately) in 4 months medical rotation while eating like a pig everyday.
easily gained back 4 kg...in 2 months of paediatric rotation.
major HAHA.
nyampah.

sekian for my short entry today.
will be more persistent on writing after this.

lots of love!