Anak

Anak anugerah Ilahi. Selalu sangat kita dengar. Anak adalah ulama' masa depan, anak ialah pembekal saham akhirat kita dan anak adalah pembela ummat ; ini jarang-jarang sikit kita dengar. :)

Ramai orang mahu anak. Mereka bersungguh-sungguh mendapatkan segala rawatan yg ada. Infertility clinic sebenarnya mahal, dan mengikut survey adalah clinic yg ada frustration rate yg plg tinggi di kalangan pesakit.
Sedih kan.


Malang nya,  ramai juga yg buang sahaja anak mereka. Buang ; buang anak secara fizikal. dan mengabaikan juga pada saya serupa seperti membuang.

Masa buat elective kat hospital besar melaka dulu, jumpa ramai remaja perempuan yg 'ter' mengandung. Single mother kita panggil. istilah ini agak rindu-konsep (miss-conception)
Ada yang tanpa segan silu bercerita itu dan ini mengenai hal ini.
Jauh dalam hati...ini kalau sedara mara sendiri ni...apa yg kita akan buat??
Mahu di marah, hal sudah jadi. Mahu di pukul, bukan anak-anak lagi.
Purata 30 kelahiran tidak berbapa setiap bulan di Hospital Melaka. Maka, saya tidak marah kan Ali rustam bila dia mahu membina rumah perlindungan untuk remaja terlanjur. Betul, ini bukan mekanisma pembetulan dan pembaikan tetapi lebih kpd damage control sahaja. Tapi, sekurang-kurang nya..remaja in ada tempat untuk pergi.


dan kalaulah org yg mudah-mudah buang anak itu tahu mcm mana susah, sedih, kecewa dan sengsara org yg cuba nak dapat anak tapi tak dapat, mesti diorg tak akan buang anak. Kalau org yg buang anak tahu, mereka tak perlu buang anak itu, tapi mereka boleh dapat pertolongan dari segala bagai rumah perlindungan, ibu-ibu terlanjur ini boleh dibantu utk menjadi insan dan pembina ulama' bukan sekadar anak-anak. Kalau org yg buang anak tahu betapa besarnya rahmat Allah sbb beri kita anak, mereka mesti tidak buang anak itu.

kalau....
(tapi kalau la..kalau... Hakikatnya? )

Bila anak itu dibuang kerana yg membuang adalah 'single mother', jauh dari sudut hati, kita boleh memahami kenapa. Kerana stigma masyarakat kita.

Tapi apa hal nya bila anak yg masih janin di bunuh oleh pasangan suami isteri yg sah. atas alasan tidak mampu, tidak mahu, tidak larat lagi nak anak ?? Di mana nilai jati diri insan, di mana pergi percaya pada tuhan, di mana pergi rasa kemanusiaan? 
Sebab itu di sini pentingnya pendidikan. 'Pernah dengar perkataan contraception?' Jujur, saya mahu mengajukan pertanyaan ini pada pasangan tersebut. 

Dan janganlah kamu membunuh anak-anak kamu kerana takutkan kemiskinan; Kamilah yang memberi rezeki kepada mereka dan kepada kamu. Sesungguhnya perbuatan membunuh mereka adalah satu dosa yang besar.

Dan janganlah kamu menghampiri zina, sesungguhnya zina itu adalah satu perbuatan yang keji dan satu jalan yang jahat (yang membawa kerosakan).

Al-Isra' , 17: 31, 32

Siri Perkasakan Jiwa

Assalamualaikum!!!

so yes, I am on 2 weeks holiday in the begining of the semester and I have 12 weeks to go then.. without any break and terus exam!! since this is not the first time I got this kind of rotation.. bak kata org kampung kita, alah bisa tegal biasa!

and yes, sebab terlebih lapang dan byk masa terluang, I've been reading a thing or two. Latest sensation adalah 'Denyut Kasih Medic' ??  (ok, ia bukan buku baru..tp baru ni jer ada chance nak baca)

This is a good book.
Seriusly. Sgtlah bagos. 

Kemudian, I found out that, isterinya juga mengarang sebuah buku. How sweet is that? both husband and wife tulis buku. and one is link to another in different perspective; pandangan lelaki dan perempuan. Tajuk nya adalah 'pemilik cintaku, setelah Allah dan Rasul'.

Juga sebuah buku yg baik. Mengenai hal2 berkaitan percintaan yg selaras dgn landasan islam. 

Ia mendorong kita utk fikirkan, apa yg kita cari selama ini, dimana priority kita, dan adakah caranya betul mengikut neraca Allah? (bukan atas neraca manusia semata) Buku ini sebnrnya, isi hati kebanyakkan wanita yg mahu menjadi ibu kpd anak-anak yg soleh/solehah suatu hari nnt. Ini buku yg baik utk lelaki mengenali wanita dan buku yg baik utk wanita, supaya dijadikan panduan menjadi wanita2 yg baik. :)

My one and only problem with buku Fatimah Syarha ini adalah; Life is not a fairy tales. Betul, kita impikan yg terbaik, tp kita jugak perlu berpijak di bumi nyata. Buku in iterlalu ideal pd pendapat saya. Betul, cita-cita kena tinggi tp ini ideal sgt. Takut kalau-kalau adik-adik yg baru nk masuk uni terpengaruh dgn 'idealiy' ini dan akhirnya membuat keputusan atau tindakan yg urang bijak.
so, when u read the 'bunga-bunga' part, don't just read apa yg tersurat. Faham kan yg tersirat juga. Enough said.
:)

( I might be wrong dan mungkin bersikap pesimis, tp ini adalah my honest opinion)

ok, so...kalau ada masa...go read these books! They are good, they makes u smile, think, and cry a bit and then makes u think "where do I go from here now?"
Very inspiring la bottom line. 

Random yg tak random sgt....

Good Monday everybody!!

I never hated Mondays..but it just Monday selalulah nak jadi kelam kabut n a typical day for things to went horribly wrong..! Tapi sebenarnya, semua tu sbb lack of organization.... :P

Anyways,

I don't know apa nak share...just random stuffs...

• Do u noticed that all..I said ALL (ok, maybe 98%) dermatology registrars have good skin??? Its like unspoken pre-requisite criteria I guess..Serious! complexion diorg cantik sgt2~~!!!
• I always complaint how smelly things are; blood and stuffs...especially in theatre. How when the heat probe burnt the skin, it smells like rotten meat on BBQ/grill..UNTIL, I went to autopsy..
• One thing I know, I won't talk about dirty jobs to colo-rectal surgeon. Or paediatric surgeon when they have to do manual evacuation on child with Hirchsprung disease.
• Whenever people ask u, what kind of specialities that u want to do in the future..... I always answer as per what ever the one that asked me in. ie: If surgeon ask me, I'd say " yeah! I think surgery is interesting and would like to do it some day!" If gynae people ask me, then I'll say the same.." Yes! I am interested in gynae, " (even if it scared the hell out of me to do bi-manual pelvic examination and pap smear)
• U know what, girls are not mata duitan, kita cuma merancang masa depan :)
• Boys who said 'tak elok letak hantaran tinggi2...' (and all those similar stuff).. trust me, they said that because they are boys! Real man are born to provide. What kind of man are u kalau ckp gitu. Kalau hidup boleh cukup dgn cinta semata-mata, org mmg tak perlu kerja. sekian.
  
• *ok, may be not sekian yet, kena ada huraian. Provide yg berpadanan, dan perempuan pon jgn demand yg pelik2 la*
• ooowhh!!..ada ular belakang rumah. How scary...carpet snake. but it is harmless anyway...so tak risau sgtla...n, it looovesssss bush turkey. So, yes. I hope the snake act as a biological agent for us.
• yes, Kellerman is back (my supervisor) so, yes...I will read books!! real med books I mean. :)
• Did u know... 'Katakanlah "rohulkudus" (Jibrail) menurunkan al-Quran itu dari Tuhanmu dengan kebenaran, untuk meneguhkan (hati) orang yang telah beriman, dan menjadi petunjuk serta khabar gembira bagi orang yg berserah diri (kepada Allah)' An-Nahl(9): 102
• Sebab tu byk orientalist (??) or to be exact, theologist yg belajar mengenai agama, membaca Quran dgn lebih fasih dari kita tetapi hatinya tidak beriman. Untuk menjadikan Quran itu petunjuk dan berita gembira, kita mesti beriman dahulu. Jangan sampai nanti, sama sahaja kita dgn theologist. :( Nasihat ini utk diri sendiri. Not fr u.....
• I may not be the best person (obviously) to talk about religion and stuff...but I'm just sharing thoughts. That's all... :)

Now...stop reading blogs and go read books/ kerja to make money!!!!!

As I said, girls are not mata duitan, it just, kita suka merancang masa depan. :P

Salam.

Mendung

Awan itu mendung lagi. Sudah seminggu redup dan hujan renyai. Musim panas in merupakan musim panas yg paling sejuk untuk Salma. Selama di Australia, ini musim panas yg ajaib! Sejuk! Mendung!

Dari kejauhan kelihatan Salma baru pulang dari hospital. Langkahnya di laju-lajukan, di besar-lebarkan. Dia mahu segera sampai ke rumah. Sudah tidak tertahan lagi dalam jiwanya.

Perasaan itu sudah seperti sampai di perut. Tekaknya terasa berat, kesat, seperti berpasir. Pahit. Salma seolah-olah masih dapat merasa sekujur daging keras menjadi hampir beku itu. Sejuk. Sejuk sekali. Masih terdengar-dengar bunyi derap tulang rusuk itu dipatah-patahkan.Dipotong dengan pemotong dahan. 14 kali kesemuanya. 14 kali bunyi derap itu, bunyi seperti memotong dahan kecil pokok di belakang rumah dengan abah tatkala hujung minggu..! Bunyi itu dia biasa dengar, tp bukan pada manusia.

Langkah Salma makin pantas. Hatinya makin sebak. Kanta nya mula berkaca. Dia tidak tahu dia mual kerana bau atau mual kerana emosinya terganggu. Ingatannya teralih pada peristiwa tadi. Bila pisau itu dihiris dan darah pekat hitam mengalir, terasa seperti hilangnya penghormatan, hilangnya pangkat dan keturunan. dan ini baru di dunia.

Dia tidak tahu kenapa dia sebak. Adakah kerana peristiwa ini atau peristiwa yg sudah-sudah.

Salma kurang mengerti kenapa dia bersedih.

Sedangkan dia tahu, yg dia sudah lama menanamkan dalam dirinya yg dia tidak akan mengharapkan orang lain menjadi sebab dia gembira, sedangkan Allah sentiasa ada. Kita yg lupa. 'Cukuplah Allah bagiku'. Mengapa mencari bahagia dgn hadir manusia sedang kita sempurna dengan mencari cinta sang Pencipta. Begitu juga, secara teori penaakulannya, mengapa bersedih bila manusia itu tiada?

Lelaki tadi usianya sudah tua. Dia mati tiba-tiba. Kalau kita yg muda ini mati tiba-tiba bagaimana? Hidup ini singkat, dan banyak pula yg ingin kita capai. Kadang-kadang Salma terfikir, sempatkah dia membina kerjaya?Sempatkah dia berbakti pada org tua? Sempatkah dia punya keluarga?

Melintas jalan untuk pulang ke rumah.

Mual di tekak Salma makin tidak tertahan. Perutnya rasa tidak enak.

Salma sudah tidak peduli. Dia mula berlari-lari anak.

Bau hanyir, darah, dan bau hamis-pekat-masam-pahit terasa makin kuat. Dia hanya mahu pulang dan mandi. Menghilangkan bau-bau dan rasa bersalah dalam bilik autopsi. Salma tahu, dia bukan ditakdirkan untuk mencintai forensic pathology.

Pelik la korang ni...

Jumpa gambar ni dekat someone's facebook.

Sweeeettttt tak???? *insert nada gedik*

NO! Biasa jer.

I don't get it. Kenapa perempuan nak susah-susahkan diri sendiri pakai high heels yg confirm-confirm not that comfy (regardless if its Prada pon).

They look good...?

Maybe.

Tapi terseksa la....

Tapi kalau kita beli this type of shoe (gambar di bawah) and actually wearing them, whouldn't that make us even more of a gentle(wo)men, a true scholar and a fine lady? (ceh...ayat!)

Cuz then, he doesn't have to walk barefooted in the cold nite.

Sweeetttt??

YEZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!

:)' *senyum simpul mati*

What do u do when u are feeling low?

Salam!

Suka topik ni sebenarnya. Sbb I think I need help jugak :P

Of coz..there are time bila morale rendah, motivasi tiada dan fokus asik lari. Apa kita buat bila kita rasa tak best, tak ada semangat, rasa nak meroyan eh...??

Update status fb byk2 kali yg emo-emo?

*go get twitter or tumblr account la pls...*

Call semua kawan-kawan??

*pompuan boleh la kot... pls read my previous entry..hehehe*

Lepak dgn kawan2..merambu-ramba?

* bukan semua kawan2 free ALL the time...*

Sembhyg byk2, doa byk2 supaya hati tenang dan fokus?

* yesss...I loike that attitude!!*

I don't know sebenarnya. Kita react differently n the way we help ourself utk naikkan motivasi dlm diri sendiri jugak berbeza-beza. If one way tak berhasil, mari cari jalan lain utk boost up self esteem dan mood diri sendiri!

As I found most of the time, what trigger me to feel low adalah faktor persekitaran - rasa tak pandai dlm lecture, kena jelingan dan renungan 'manja' bila tak dpt jawab soalan, tersipu malu sendiri bila ckp benda yg not so bright, *God, help us* Semua ni mcm related dgn self esteem eh..

When I'm feeling low:

• I sing 'What am I to u' by Norah Jones. Alang-alang dah blue and low tu kan, marilah layan lagu-lagu jiwa kacau. hehehe. Not a good choice sometime. SO...we move on to Adele 'I set fire to the rain!' memang la siri menaikkan semangat diri dan rasa empowered sikit la..
• But my favaourite song to boost my motivation adalah: lagu iklan Nestle (nespray?) Lagu ni plg nostalgik la... :)

Sayalah permata

anak kesayangan

kebanggaan ayah dan ibu

Saya dibesarkan

dengan kasih sayang

hanya yang terbaik untukku,

Menjadi harapan

di masa hadapan

SAYALAH ANAK YANG CEMERLANG!

• I keep telling myself that: I know that if I felt stupid, sbnrnya ada jer org lain yg rasa bodoh jugak. Tp org putih ni very good (extremely good) at hiding their own flaws.. Memang jarang la (especially those lelaki-lelaki alpha) utk mengaku yg diorg pon tak tahu sbnrnya. So, I kept telling myself for the past 3-4 years,...well, bodoh jer omputih ni...Diorang buat-buat pandai jer *utk sedapkan hati sendiri*
• There are times, out of the blue...tiba-tiba nak melankoli....ini payah sikit. So, check your calender and convinced urself that this is the time of the month. It wasn't me. It was the hormones effect. Hormones fluctuation mmg mendatangkan blues..esok will be fine. I can sleep early tonite. (Again) Tomoz will be fine! ulang dlm 14 kali mcm tu... :)
• Fikir blk, is it worth it to be emotionally wrecked (or shaken) over this thing? Ingat, jgn besar-besarkan benda yang kecil. There are so many things that u can do rather than thinking about this stupid little thing.
• Call emak, nangis-nangis...emak bg advice - I got even more cranky and frustrated- no body gets me. :P
• Plan a holiday! or berangan for a big holiday for u! It works most of the time for me... :) Then when u feel a it ok,,,go get a new shoe! *Hadiah pada diri sendiri sbb jadi wanita tabah??* *hehehehe...*

Tapi..that's me. and sometime, these methods didn't work. Pakar motivasi mesti ada cara yg lebih akademik to overcome low mood ni semua. These are what I gather (entah dari mana) :

When u're feeling low:

• Stop. a while. Smile. Breath deeply. Ulang sampai rasa dah nk respiratory alkalosis. (layman term: sampai rasa nk senak tak leh breath in lg) ok, tipu. Just breath in deeply sampai u relax urself. :)
• Stop the negative cycle. meaning: Bila u feeling low, dan rasa tak mahu jumpa org, tak mahu keluar, nak terperap dalam bilik jer, STOP. Sebab nnt lagi rasa lonely, then lagi rasa low. So...Go out, meet ur friends (they are always available, it just in ur head they are not), get fit- pergi gym or arrange a game with ur friends. Anything at all to get u out of the house.
• Friends and family are the best antidote to low mood.
• Develop an interest (perhaps, the one that u know u will be good at). Contoh: memasak, memotong rumput, ceramic art, or cup cakes. Contoh: kalau minat nk buat cupcakes, tp tak berapa nk tahu, don't over do or tire urself. Nanti lg rasa helpless. Modification: u can buy ready made muffins, and decorate their top... *taddda!!!!* now they become cupcakes! Then u can invite ur friends to come over for tea. See, now u accomplished 3 things at 1 time : keluar dr rumah (sbb nak beli muffins), u developed an interest and u now haf a social life!!!
• * will i get any tea/coffee hang-out invitation soon???*
• Change ur habits, be more organized. Biasanya, kita rasa tak best sbb byk kerja dan serabut. Bila kerja tak dapat dilakukan tepat pada masanya. dan biasanya, sebab utk itu adalah kita sendiri yg tidak organized. I remember one of those lecture in 3rd year (3rd year biasanya Newcastle student akan jadi emotionally wrecked.) One of the lecturer said that to make it in Medicine, it doesn't take that much of wit. It takes lots of organization, discipline and positive routine; between work (study) and personal life.
• So, Lets change our negative habits, organize masa belajar, organize jadual betul2. Know what u doing or ur schedule for the week (therefore keep a diary/planner). These, will make us more prepared.
• Fadzilah Kamsah ckp: org yg bgn pagi, kemudian fikir dan rancang apa yg akan dia buat hari ini, adalah org yg berjaya!
• But the most important thing is....bila feeling low, or bila rasa tak tenang, serabut..... there's one thing yg absolutely will help... :

Sesungguhnya dgn mengingati Allah hati akan menjadi tenang. (check Ar-Ra'd : 28)

…Cukuplah Allah bagiku. Tidak ada Tuhan selain Dia. Hanya kepada-Nya aku bertawakal dan Dia adalah Tuhan yang memiliki Arsy yang agung.”

(At-Taubah [9]: 129)

So, ada paham nak buat apa bila feeling low? paham yer.... :)

Bottom line, in my opinion, Kita lebih kenal diri sendiri. We know what works and what not utk diri kita. Tapi masalah utama adalah - to break the ice, and to get help!

Allah knows best. iAllah.

p/s I do not use the word depressed, instead I use the word low mood. Sebab? Kita jgn nak negativekan fikiran kita mengenai diri sendiri. Kalau u rasa u are being depressed, here is the checklist utk diagnosis. So, check it out. http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=1.3&gclid=CLiy6vTHgq4CFUVspAodpTpP3g

Why men don't listen & women can't read maps

Sociolinguistic adalah area yg always enthral me and many other people la. but recently human behaviour and all these behavioural sciences makin popular and of course, utk tidak ketinggalan dalam bidang science yg subjective ini (when science supposedly give u objective findings) I have been reading a thing or two.

Sebab hari ini ponteng sekolah *ok, pls...emak jgn baca blog kita pls...* I should do something yg bermanfaat. Therefore, mari share key points dari buku ni. - tajuk di atas. (it is also good fr my future references) It has 11 chapters, but I will point out points yg I think relevant according to me. :) ~vain~

1. same species, different world.

• Think of men as a hunter (mcm zaman purba). They chased lunch, buat unggun api, duduk atas batu pandang api, memburu.
• Think of women as a nest defender. Bila lelaki berburu, women ddk kat gua jaga api, anak, kasi makan, provide love and warmth.
• so, we are different.

2. making perfect sense

• Even our brain developed differently. Girls are very good in linguistic - thus, we talk alot!
• Men don't talk that much. Their linguistic capacity mmg rendah. If they already spoke 2000-3000 words/day, they would like to sit back and relax and not talking -->> duduk atas batu, tgk unggun api in silence!
• Women talk a lot! Even if we already spoken 7-8000 words/day, we still haf the capacity to talk 10,000 more!
• Just accept this fact guys...!

ok..by this time I am soooo not going to do it by chapters.. it will took ages. I will just buat points jer ok?

• When women talk, they just talking. They talk their thoughts. It doesnt mean that they are asking for solutions. But because men's brain are built in a way that they must find solutions - thus, they give advice when girls nagged.
• WRONG! dont give solutions. Women just wanted to be heard. To be listened to. so, hold ur tongue dude! just listen.
• And because level of oxytoxin is higher in women; oxytoxin makes us suka to be touched - That's why women touched, hug each other a lot! So, when women spill their problem to men, what u should do is listen, hold and hug her. If u do that u are the most sensitive, amazing ,osem hot buff and handsome guy!!! *win!!**kelip-kelip mata* (don't even try to give advice or solution. She knows what she wants..she just need confirmation. Women are indecisive anyway)
• u see, how the last 2 sentences sound like they are contradictory? confusing kan? yes, women are confusing. Don't try to understand them, u can't. Just listen to them.
• However, berbeza dgn perempuan, men do not have much verbal/facial expression. That's why women see it as they are not listening. but they are (most of the time)
• women are good at multitasking . We can talk to our friends, listen to the other and watch drama all at the same time, n comprehend all these 3 things with nil effort. Men cannot do two things at a time. Its either talk or listen or watch.
• so, when women talk to men when they are reading newspaper -->> they don't listen. They can't. Their brain is not built that way. :)

why women can't read map

• Its all about how our brain is built. women are lack in spatial skill. Therefore,when we read map, we struggle a bit (hahaha..a bit ker?) but fear not my lady, as this can be improved with practice. :)
• Guys are superior in spatial ability -->> making map reading, targets and parallel parking is easy for them. They saw things in 3ds...when women can only see it in 2ds...
• So, if u on road trip, don't let the girls read the map. Men shoud read the map first, know where u going. then u drive.
• As men are better at spatial stuff, they drive better. Women get panicked because they cannot calculate length accurately in their head-- takkan nak keluar dr kereta nk ukur pulak jarak dgn kereta depan while moving kan? so, when women thought that men are driving recklessly, most of the time it is not. They see it better!

I like chapter 6: Thoughts, attitudes, emotions and other disaster areas!

• This one is a bit eye opener. Fahamkan ini dan berhenti berharap terlalu banyak. Guys are hunter. Their instinct is to provide meals (or keperluan in modern context). They don't talk about their feeling ( they go into their cave to think about it), They don't usually shed a tear, they don't ask for directions (that is sign of weakness to them) very little words usually. They are do-er and silent worri-er.
• If they kept quite, it doesn't mean they hate u. (as women give silence-treatment when they hate/mad at someone). They need space to think, in silent. So, don't bother la nak tahu how's ur day? how is it going? Do u want to talk about it?
• **hikhikhik...terasa???**
• They may not say they love u everyday - but they mowed the lawn, fixed the pipes and clean the garage- to show that they care. They are do-er, remember. They don't say things out loud.
• When guys talk about their problems, it is a sign that he cannot solve that particular problem on his own. So now they are seeking for help. Therefore, girls, pls, give advice and try to help; don't just listen and acknowledge his feeling like u did to ur girlfriends.
• Also, men speech is much structured than that of women. When they talk, they haf to tell isi kandungan and reach to conclusion. So, do not interrupt when they r talking. As they may found it pointless to talk if they cannot reach to conclusion...(girls interrupt a lot in conversation because that is the sign of listening to girls)

Boys like things, girls like people. Rasa accomplished in life for women is when she have a wonderful relationship; husband, children and family la bottom line. Itu memberi rasa bahagia dan rasa cukup utk perempuan. Tetapi lelaki rasa accomplished kalau they have things- boys and their toys. contoh: beli rumah, ada kereta best2 or that sort of stuff la.

If a woman is unhappy with her relationships, she cannot concentrate on her work.

If a man is unhappy at work, he can't focus on relationships!

p/s ada 4 more chapters to go. I may not write all the key points. Just to inspire u people to read the book on ur own! :) salam alaikum, and haf a lovely day (and life)